Negative attitudes, negative humans, negative situations. STOP entertaining negative energy. Some situations will test your patience and try to make you respond to things that don’t deserve your attention. Your attention is your power. You can’t feed what doesn’t add value to your life. Conserve your energy!
Of course, like most situations, this is easier said than done but trust me it is possible! Sometimes life will drain you but you must overcome the fear of letting go. In times like these where socializing has not really been a thing, we feel lonely and tend to hold onto things that serve us no good. It is time to realize what attitudes, humans, situations serve as no good and the best way to put them in the past and NEVER look back!
Negative Attitudes- “Imposter Syndrome” is sadly something that most of us deal with. Whether you think you are not doing “enough” or doubting your skills and accomplishments, you are not alone. A couple years ago, I would have not thought I would be where I am today. I doubted myself for a long time before I realized I can achieve anything I set my mind to, and so can YOU. I understand it is hard to force yourself to think about everything you are doing right, but adjusting your mindset is key because those negative thoughts feed into negative energy. Start by paying attention to your thoughts and ask yourself if they have a negative or positive connotation. An exercise you can practice is writing down every “I am” statement that pops into your mind for a day. For example, you might have the thoughts of “I am _____ (annoying, ugly, dumb, pathetic, incapable, unworthy, etc). Write every single one of them down, whether good or bad, and use that list to reflect upon at the end of the day. By first examining the ways in which we talk to ourselves, we can shift our mindsets into “I am ______ (badass, capable, loved, appreciated, worthy, beautiful, intelligent, etc.)! Additionally, journaling about things that make you happy, that you’re grateful for, skills you see in yourself, and successful accomplishments will also help to create that positive mindset. Also, do something each day that brings you joy! Whether it’s a walk outdoors on your favorite path or a phone call with a dear friend or baking a treat for yourself, these small actions can accumulate into warm feelings of happiness, self-love, and self-appreciation. So choose a few tips and get started towards creating a more loving relationship with yourself. You can do anything you set your mind to!
Negative Humans- We have all had people come and go in our lives. “Friends” that weren’t really friends. People who want to “see you do good but never better than them”. Acknowledging the difference between those who genuinely want the best for you and people who just care when it is beneficial to them will help you in the long run. Just because you may be comfortable with a group of people does not mean that they are good for you. It can be difficult to dissociate who is and isn’t a real friend, but pay close attention to how that person makes you feel and look out for red flags. Do you feel at ease around them, or do you subconsciously tense up? Do they reciprocate acts of kindness or caring words? Do they talk badly about other people to you? Do you get the sense that they are trying to use you, compete with you, or act better than you? Do they make you feel uneasy? These are questions that you can ask yourself. If you find that you don’t really trust that person and they make you feel bad more often than good, then no need to keep that negative energy around - SEE YA! While you may feel guilty ending a friendship that no longer serves you or brings you joy, remember that you were and still are honoring your true authentic self and you’re not a bad person for doing so. I once read a quote which I really enjoyed and it said, “I don’t regret the love and humbleness I gave to people because they probably needed it.” Many people struggle with their history of battles and traumas, so it’s important to still be a kind human. You can honor yourself and your needs without tearing someone down along the way. Overall, know what it is that you need from a friendship, look for signs of ingenuine friendship, and know when it is time to cut toxicity. Life is too short to keep negative people and their negative energy in your close circle!
Negative Situations- Whether it’s related to school, work, friends, family, or other areas of our life, we are bound to run into negative situations. Sometimes these can feel like the hardest to break out of because we feel stuck in that situation. First of all, know that you’re not alone in this. So many of us, especially when we are young and entering adulthood, find ourselves in a negative situation where we feel trapped. You may not recognize it at first, but if you feel mentally drained, stressed, low on energy, sleeping poorly, and have a constant feeling of low-level anxiety, then you’re likely experiencing a negative situation in your day to day. If it’s something you can easily change, then great! But for many, it may be a situation that can’t be a quick fix. For me, I’ve experienced several toxic workplaces where I didn’t know prior to starting that it wasn’t a healthy work environment. Situations like those aren’t always the easiest to fix. Just breathe and remember to take it day by day. Incorporate as much self-love as possible in your day to balance out any negativity that is out of your control. If you do decide you need to remove yourself from this situation, then make a plan and execute it - and don’t be afraid to ask someone you trust for help! Your mental and physical health should always be your top priority.
My dear friend Melissa, an NIU STEM Alumni, has an Instagram page with positivity and inspiration. If you’re ever feeling down and reading this doesn't help check it out! @mindfullnesswithmelissa
-Malak Z.
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